Elizabeth (Betsy) Ritzman, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor

Elizabeth (Betsy) was trained at Kansas State University (M.S.) and McCormick Theological Seminary (M.Div.) in counseling and psychotherapy. She is licensed to practice in the state of Illinois and is a member of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors. She has been trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) for in-person and virtual settings and for group processing of traumatic incidents. Her fascination with the process of human maturation, intimacy, and couples dynamics led her to specialize in couples therapy for the past 10 years.

She practices the art and science of psychotherapy which is a form of listening and reflecting that engages our capacity to heal and transform the Self, our relationships as well as problems that undermine our mental health and wellness. It is useful for individuals, families, and couples. It creates a safe space where the story of one’s life can unfold and become open for change.

As a health care justice advocate, she articulates the moral imperative for communities to respond with integrity to the magnitude of violence, stigmatized diagnoses, and health care gaps facing our disenfranchised neighbors globally and across the Chicago metro area. Her experience has included building services addressing compromised mental health, the HIV epidemic, and those facing AIDS, breast cancer, diabetes, asthma, infant mortality, and teen pregnancy. She designs and implements model programs integrating spiritual care, mental health, education, and community outreach into comprehensive, community-based treatment programs.

She is a leader and ally for faith communities seeking to build health ministries and healthy congregations, especially as a response to disparities in resources and outcomes for chronic diseases, mental health and addiction issues, and the crisis in access to health care.

A native of rural Kansas, she is an ordained minister in the American Baptist Churches of the USA, a pastoral counselor, and a licensed clinical professional counselor in Illinois.  Previously Betsy directed Midwest Resources, a church-based counseling practice with nine locations in metro Chicago, and the AIDS Pastoral Care Network at Access Community Health Network.

Couple’s Therapy

Couples therapy is increasingly important and relevant with the rates of divorce and separation climbing. For those who are struggling with relational problems or considering ending their relationship, couples therapy is a tool for managing conflict and making healthy choices. For those who are married, partnered, considering making a long-term and hopefully, final commitment couples therapy can be a great resource to building intimacy and resiliency for the challenges every couple and family face. Finding a therapist who respects the strengths of your connection and who will take a strengths-based approach is important.

In many years of clinical practice, I’ve learned creating a strong, intimate connection in your marriage is the most important, most meaningful, and most challenging work that you can do. It matters to your relationship, to your kids, and your legacy as a human. Despite the challenges facing all couples these days, marriage is the primary tool available to you for personal development and maturity. (I use the word marriage in the most inclusive sense, honoring those who are not permitted to legally marry and their relationships.) Continue reading “Couple’s Therapy”

Calamity and Chaos–and COVID-19

With the pandemic,  volatile world markets, war raging in so many parts of the world and unspeakable things happening in so many places near and far it seems that the world as we knew it is coming apart. Calamity and chaos reign.

For all of us, the uncertainty, struggle and suffering is intolerable, and the thought of all this suffering having an instructive or redemptive purpose seems ridiculous. Yet, the long view of history shows us that great things often emerge from such muck. Think about the Dark Ages. Then think Renaissance. After years of pestilence, death and the suppression of the human spirit a resurgence of human enlightenment overtook the world in such a way that we enjoy it even today.

The U.S.A’s dominant salvation narrative,  the birth of the Christ Child- teaches a similar lesson. In the short view, Jesus’ birth was not much more than a calamity. An illegitimate child was born to a poor teenage mother and her aging husband-to-be, and had the misfortune to alienate the ruling monarch by virtue of the alignment of the stars at his birth, thereby making his family refugees almost as soon as he was born and causing a bloodbath of male babies in his homeland as the king hunted him down.

Simply put, Jesus did not have much of a chance within the existing order of the world when he was born. The existing order was simply too much for that influx of love. History proves the unlikely outcome.

Early in the lockdown in March of 2020, I noticed jets were missing from the early morning airspace in my yard. Traffic was very quiet. The sounds of birds filled that space. Despite the terrible news of neighbors’ death; the crabtree bloomed more heartily than ever.

Perhaps there are times when only calamity and chaos create sufficient room to hold the larger doses of hope and love necessary for the continuing evolution of our creation. I am a witness to the fact that in our own individual lives, there is every hope and possibility that some unimaginable transformation can emerge from destruction and chaos. This is the bittersweet nature of hope.

Talking about sex

I’m 25, we’ve just been married a year, and I’m happy… but seriously disappointed by our sex life. It’s over too fast for me to climax. How do I tell my husband about this? I don’t want to break his heart or his pride.

Ok, this is difficult, but everyone has to learn to do it. By “it” I mean talking about sex, not just doing it. It’s best to choose a relaxed, semi-quiet time, when having sex is not on the agenda. I think it’s great to ask for permission to bring up a delicate topic and create a playful, non-anxious attitude in your own heart at the same time.

It takes a long time, sometimes a lifetime, to get full “ownership” of our sexuality. And 25 is still young for that level of maturity. Continue reading “Talking about sex”

Resources:

Links:

Depression: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

Anxiety: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

Grief: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

Family Problems: http://www.aamft.org/families/index_nm.asp

Marriage Resources: http://www.smartmarriages.com/index.html

Healthy Marriage Rituals: http://www.smartmarriages.com/intentionalmarriage.html

Web References for Elizabeth Ritzman:

Marriage Friendly Therapists.com:

http://marriagefriendlytherapists.com/searchprofile.php?t_id=56&range=50

Recommended Books:

Thomas, Frank A.
Spiritual Maturity: Preserving Congregational Health and Balance

Schnarch, David
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Passion Alive in Committed Relationships

Schnarch, David
Resurrecting Sex: Solving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing your Relationship

Neafsey, John
A Sacred Voice is Calling: Personal Vocation and Social Conscience

Markman, Howard J.; Stanley, Scott M.; Jenkins, Natalie H.; Blumberg, Susan L.; Whitely, Carol
12 Hours to a Great Marriage: A Step to Step Guide for Making Love Last

Bria, Gina
The Art of Family: Rituals, Imagination, and Everyday Spirituality

Sears, William
The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition)

Gunderson, Gary
Deeply Woven Roots: Improving the Quality of Life in Your Community

Evans, Abigail
The Healing Church: Practical Programs for Health Ministries

Daniel, W.; Koenig, Harold
Healing Bodies and Souls: A Practical Guide for Congregations

Volf, Miroslav
Exclusion and Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness, and Reconciliation

Kidder, Tracy
Mountains Beyond Mountains : The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World

Jones, Kirk Byron
Rest in the Storm: Self-Care Strategies for Clergy and Other Caregivers

Paulsell, Stephanie
Honoring the Body: Meditations on a Christian Practice

Bass, Dorothy
Practicing Our Faith : A Way of Life for a Searching People

Bass, Dorothy; Wright, Lani; Richter, Don
Receiving the Day : Christian Practices for Opening the Gift of Time

Amos, William E.
When AIDS Comes to Church

Friedman, Edwin H.
From Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue

Black, Claudia
Depression Strategies: Practical Tools for Professionals Treating Depression

Black Claudia
It Will Never Happen to Me: Growing up with Addiction as Youngsters, Adolescents and Adults