Sam was a brilliant businessman, intellect, and romantic. He married Tia, a lovely aspiring singer, taking her to a beautiful, remote spot in a foreign land to propose. It literally mirrored a scene from a movie they saw together when they first met and fell in love. Marrying a beautiful, equally intelligent, and charming woman who would make an attractive partner and who also held strong family values was about the best thing he could imagine happening to him. He was happy to support her aspirations to perform, however, a few years into the marriage, when Tia began to find success, travel more, and be emotionally consumed in challenging projects he felt cheated. Continue reading “After the Honeymoon”
Couple’s Therapy
Couples therapy is increasingly important and relevant with the rates of divorce and separation climbing. For those who are struggling with relational problems or considering ending their relationship, couples therapy is a tool for managing conflict and making healthy choices. For those who are married, partnered, considering making a long-term and hopefully, final commitment couples therapy can be a great resource to building intimacy and resiliency for the challenges every couple and family face. Finding a therapist who respects the strengths of your connection and who will take a strengths-based approach is important.
In many years of clinical practice, I’ve learned creating a strong, intimate connection in your marriage is the most important, most meaningful, and most challenging work that you can do. It matters to your relationship, to your kids, and your legacy as a human. Despite the challenges facing all couples these days, marriage is the primary tool available to you for personal development and maturity. (I use the word marriage in the most inclusive sense, honoring those who are not permitted to legally marry and their relationships.) Continue reading “Couple’s Therapy”
Talking about sex
I’m 25, we’ve just been married a year, and I’m happy… but seriously disappointed by our sex life. It’s over too fast for me to climax. How do I tell my husband about this? I don’t want to break his heart or his pride.
Ok, this is difficult, but everyone has to learn to do it. By “it” I mean talking about sex, not just doing it. It’s best to choose a relaxed, semi-quiet time, when having sex is not on the agenda. I think it’s great to ask for permission to bring up a delicate topic and create a playful, non-anxious attitude in your own heart at the same time.
It takes a long time, sometimes a lifetime, to get full “ownership” of our sexuality. And 25 is still young for that level of maturity. Continue reading “Talking about sex”
Resources:
Links:
Depression: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml
Anxiety: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml
Grief: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
Family Problems: http://www.aamft.org/families/index_nm.asp
Marriage Resources: http://www.smartmarriages.com/index.html
Healthy Marriage Rituals: http://www.smartmarriages.com/intentionalmarriage.html
Web References for Elizabeth Ritzman:
Marriage Friendly Therapists.com:
http://marriagefriendlytherapists.com/searchprofile.php?t_id=56&range=50
Recommended Books:
Thomas, Frank A.
Spiritual Maturity: Preserving Congregational Health and Balance
Schnarch, David
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Passion Alive in Committed Relationships
Schnarch, David
Resurrecting Sex: Solving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing your Relationship
Neafsey, John
A Sacred Voice is Calling: Personal Vocation and Social Conscience
Markman, Howard J.; Stanley, Scott M.; Jenkins, Natalie H.; Blumberg, Susan L.; Whitely, Carol
12 Hours to a Great Marriage: A Step to Step Guide for Making Love Last
Bria, Gina
The Art of Family: Rituals, Imagination, and Everyday Spirituality
Sears, William
The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition)
Gunderson, Gary
Deeply Woven Roots: Improving the Quality of Life in Your Community
Evans, Abigail
The Healing Church: Practical Programs for Health Ministries
Daniel, W.; Koenig, Harold
Healing Bodies and Souls: A Practical Guide for Congregations
Volf, Miroslav
Exclusion and Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness, and Reconciliation
Kidder, Tracy
Mountains Beyond Mountains : The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World
Jones, Kirk Byron
Rest in the Storm: Self-Care Strategies for Clergy and Other Caregivers
Paulsell, Stephanie
Honoring the Body: Meditations on a Christian Practice
Bass, Dorothy
Practicing Our Faith : A Way of Life for a Searching People
Bass, Dorothy; Wright, Lani; Richter, Don
Receiving the Day : Christian Practices for Opening the Gift of Time
Amos, William E.
When AIDS Comes to Church
Friedman, Edwin H.
From Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue
Black, Claudia
Depression Strategies: Practical Tools for Professionals Treating Depression
Black Claudia
It Will Never Happen to Me: Growing up with Addiction as Youngsters, Adolescents and Adults